Phases

As a second time mom, I take great comfort in the certainty that with children, nothing is certain. Everything, both good and bad, is a phase. This makes a lot of my experiences both easier to savor or endure, depending on which end of the spectrum they fall.

With Lincoln, our current phase includes the refusal to nap anywhere during the day for more than ten minutes unless he is laying in our arms or strapped to my chest in the Beco Soleil (highly recommended and saves my sanity on a daily basis!). Since I lack the mental and emotional fortitude for cry it out, I simply acknowledge the phase and the snuggles, and we wait.

Luckily, his transition into his crib and out of his Rock and Play bassinet (another highly recommended sanity saver) is going much better. If he weren't struggling to get over a leftover cough, I think he'd be ready to stay in there all night. As it is, we've had two nights where he's stayed in from 9pm until nearly 5am! In the back of my mind are Lucas's sleep patterns at the same age - twelve hours straight in the crib until he hit four months, at which point it all went to hell for the next year. So we wait to see if these good sleep habits are a longer phase or shorter one, and keep our fingers crossed for the former.

Lucas's current phase is a lot less fun. We already deal with pretty spectacular tantrums on the regular from our spirited Biggest, and he's finally hit the point where he decided that being mad is not enough, he needs to also hit and kick Mama and Dada (and baby brother too, when he can get to him fast enough!) to get his displeasure across. It is insanely frustrating and hopefully a phase that will pass quickly, as Brandon and I have a hard time keeping our tempers in check when we're being pursued across the house and abused, and even more so when he goes after the baby.

But there are always good things. Having conquered all the gross motor skills he can think of, Lucas is finally turning his attentions toward developing his fine motor skills and verbal skills. Lots of building blocks and chatter around here. The chatter can be hard to decipher but it's kind of a fun game also. Today I finally figured out that when Lucas was asking for "Star Wars," he actually meant "Dinosaurs," or the PBS cartoon Dinosaur Train.

As for myself, I am moving into a phase where hopefully I can be a runner again! Belonging to the YMCA and having access to free childcare for two hours every day has been an amazing gift for my life as a stay at home mom, and is allowing me to regain one of my favorite hobbies: running! I'm up to running 3.5 miles without a walk break, and hope to complete a 10K in the spring, and possibly a half marathon in the fall if I can fit in the training schedule. Hooray for new phases of life!

And a few photos of the boys:

Lucas vs. Lincoln at two months

Merry Christmas!

Tiggers are the cutest

Christmas Eve with my boys

No idea what's going, but still a sweetheart

Watching Toy Story with our new friends from Santa

Circus tent from the grandparents was a big hit!

Quiet New Year's Eve in

We love this sweet easygoing guy!

Three months old and delightfully chunky

Two Months!

Lincoln is already two months old, I can hardly believe it! He's getting to be quite the chunk, nearing 15 pounds currently, although he's still trailing behind his big brother The Tank at the sam age by about a pound. Since he started out nearly two pounds smaller, though, I think that's quite impressive.

Now that Lincoln is past the initial 6-8 weeks of normal newborn fussiness, he's starting to have a pretty mellow and sweet personality. He's generally pretty content to sit around and check things out, and loves snuggles and smiling. He's not a fan of tummy time or the playmat, and he absolutely hates his car seat unless we're on the freeway going very fast. Since he can't sit in our regular stroller yet, only in the infant car seat attachment, that means I'm wearing him about 90% of the time we're out and about. Thank goodness for my Beco Soleil, I absolutely love it! Luckily, he does too.

He's so far a much better sleeper than Lucas was. He's down for the night between 7pm and 8pm. I do one more dream feed around 10pm before I go to bed, and he wakes up usually twice nightly (2am and 5am) to eat, before being up around 7am. The main difference is that after he eats, he goes right back to sleep for another 3-4 hours, which is amazing. He's still sleeping in our room next to my bed, but I'm hoping to transition him into the crib around the new year. His napping habits during the day are not that great, he rarely lets me set him down for naps so he's usually napping in my Beco carrier while we're out or in my arms during Lucas's naps.

Lucas is very sweet to his brother but acts out to us a lot when he's feeling ignored. Hard to tell how much of that is adjusting to his sibling and how much is just because he's a two year old. Our spirited child is always a challenge, but he cracks us up on a daily basis with the funny things he says and does. He's got personality to spare, that one! His current obsessions are the Toy Story movies, Mack trucks, fire engines, and digging in the dirt. He also loves playing with friends, although his sense of appropriate affection is still underdeveloped -- we're working on asking permission before hugging friends and saving kisses for Mama, Dada, and brother. He recently graduated to the preschool room at church and is nowhere near being potty trained yet. All in good time!

Photo overload!

Two months!

How we feel when both kids are asleep at the same time

Me and Nugget at the zoo

Saw a real fire engine at the grocery store and met a firefighter!

Fun with bubbles at the Children's Museum

More museum fun

The artist at work.

Sigh, I love having a baby to snuggle again.

Starting to be more alert!

Lots of sweet smiles from this guy.

What I look like all the time now with Lincoln in the carrier!

Bathtime shark attack!

Love being home with my boys!

Paternity Leave Roundup

We're down to the last few days of Brandon's paternity leave, so I thought I should write up a quick blog post before next week when I'm home full time with two small children and will probably not get a chance to blog again until Lincoln's first birthday.

We've had a fine time together these past weeks, minus the first two when we were dealing with birth recovery, illness, and hospitalizations. I like the routine we've had and it's going to hard to lose that as we find a new normal.


The Things I'm going to miss most about Paternity Leave:

1. Sleep. Since I am nursing, I get up with the baby at night and then Brandon has been getting up with Lucas in the morning and at naptime, allowing me to snag a couple extra hours of sleep during the day. The boys occasionally nap at the same time but it's by no means a sure thing, so it's likely that most days I won't be able to sleep at all other than whatever I get between the hours of 8pm and 6am.

2. Meal preparation: Brandon has been handling the majority of cooking and meal prep while he'e been home. It's going to be a lot of "handful of trail mix for lunch, frozen Trader Joe's meal for dinner" over the next few weeks, I think.

3. Help with housework: Neither of us are amazing housekeepers, but I suspect the cleanliness around here is going to take a nose dive as well.

4. Help getting out of the house: Getting both boys dressed and ready to leave the house in the morning is ridiculously more complicated than doing it with one. Hope Lucas enjoys playing in our backyard for a while! Don't even get me started on how much I am dreading dragging both boys with me on errands to the grocery store, post office, etc.


Here are a few photos of the fun things we've been up to in the past month or so!

Love this little face.

Fun with trucks at the pumpkin patch!

Just riding in my tractor.

I choose this pumpkin!

Lots of this happening, for him at least if not the rest of us.

Lots of this happening too.

My one month old, chunking up nicely.

Aww, brothers!

The First Two Weeks

We expected that the first two weeks at home with both the boys would be difficult, but it turned out to be even worse than we anticipated, and for a totally unexpected reason. Hand foot and mouth disease finally found its way into our house.

On the Tuesday after we came home from the hospital, Lucas started acting out much worse than we're used to. Lots of tantrums and general irritability, but since it coincided with Lincoln's arrival into our house, we all chalked it up to sibling adjustment and tried to ignore it. I felt like such a jerk of a mother when after two days of cranky Lucas, I finally made the connection with HFM that he was sick on Wednesday night when he spit out a bite of banana (his favorite food) while crying and saying "ow."

Anyone who tries to tell me that HFM is just a mild childhood illness is liable to get kicked in the teeth, because this was the worst sickness we've ever had to deal with from Lucas in his lifetime, and that includes RSV and croup. The problem was that his mouth sores caused him a lot of pain when eating or drinking, so he simply refused to eat or drink much of anything for the next four days. If you know Lucas, you know that he is King of the Hanger Tantrum, which is why I take such care to keep him fed with plenty of protein and nutrient-dense foods throughout the day. Since he wasn't eating anything, we basically had to deal with a hangry, irritable Lucas for 12 hours a day until he finally started feeling well enough to eat again. Combine this with me still in recovery from giving birth, and the constant needs of newborn care, and it was basically the worst week of all time.

We tried our best to keep the boys separated, and wash our hands whenever we switched between them, but I began to notice a marked increase in lethargy in Lincoln around Monday, just as Lucas started getting better. On Tuesday afternoon, I took his temperature - 100.4. Very low-grade fever, but with infants as young as Lincoln, you really can't take any chances so his doctor advised that we take him into the emergency room to get checked out. I was 95% certain that he had simply caught HFM from his brother (he had one visible sore inside his lip), but dutifully brought him in anyway.

Upon arrival at the Rady Children's Hospital ER, I was promptly informed that for a baby under one month, any fever meant that he needed to have a full septic work up to rule out any serious infections. This meant 48 hours of testing and hospital admission for my tiny sweet boy, including a urine catheter, blood draw, spinal tap, and two days of precautionary IV antibiotics. He was so sweet and brave during the tests, the nurses and doctors were very impressed by how calmly he took everything. I had to handle the majority of the ER and hospital stay on my own, since Brandon was stuck at home caring for Lucas. I think I held it together pretty well for someone only 10 days postpartum!

We spent the first evening in the ER, which was the worst of it because this was the only time he actually seemed sick and I had to watch him get stuck all over with needles while surrounded by screaming children in pain. Once we transferred to the pediatrics unit at a hospital nearer to home (Lincoln via ambulance, with me following close behind in the car) and were admitted to a private room for the remainder of our stay, things were a lot calmer and easier to handle. Lincoln's fever was gone by the next morning, but we were asked to stay for the full 48 hours until the tests could confirm that there was no bacterial infection and we were just dealing with a run of the mill virus.

Not feeling too good in the ER.

I started calling him Little Lionheart for being so brave during all his tests, mostly inspired by this hat.

The doctor also noted that his illness had exacerbated his mild jaundice, and prescribed him some time under the bilirubin lights to "de-yellow-fy" him a bit since we were stuck in the hospital anyway. The lights convert the bilirubin in his system into something that can come out in his poop, which I found pretty fascinating although also gross. It was amazing to see how quickly he turned pink after spending a day or so under the lights.

Spa treatment under the bilirubin lights.

His spinal tap confirmed the presence of enterovirus toward the end of our first full day in the hospital, which was actually very comforting because it meant it was almost certainly not a more serious bacterial infection. By that time he was much more alert and feeding better and for longer periods of time, so the hospital stay was more boring than anything else. I think Brandon had a much harder time caring for Lucas for two straight days alone than I had lounging in our private room on my bed, having meals brought to me and reading my book in peace for hours on end.

Chilling in our room, getting better every minute.

Still, I was ecstatic when Lincoln was discharged in the late afternoon on our second day in the hospital, and it was amazing to be back home with the whole family again. Lucas in particular was very glad to have me back, and Brandon, best husband in the world, greeted me at the door with an open bottle of red wine.

Ready to go home!

Little smirk - happy to be home again.

Brandon and I have remarked to each other in the days since Lincoln got home from the hospital that taking care of two healthy kids frankly seems like a breeze in comparison to taking care of sick ones. Hopefully we'll all remain that way for a good long time!

Lincoln's Birth Story

Because of Lucas's weight at birth, my doctor had been discussing the possibility of induction early on in this pregnancy. Although I did have a successful vaginal birth with Lucas, having had to push for four hours and end with an episiotomy and vacuum assist made me eager and willing to take steps to ensure a smaller baby and easier birth experience this time around. After my 36 week growth ultrasound indicated that the Kraken was already hovering around nine pounds, we went ahead and scheduled an induction for the beginning of my 39th week.

My body began showing signs of being ready for labor several weeks before my due date, and by three days before my induction, I was 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, and had already lost my mucus plug. My doctor offered to strip my membranes at my final regular appointment prior to the induction, on the off chance that I could go into labor naturally and we could avoid the artificial induction. My mom had flown in several days earlier so we could be sure we had childcare in place for Lucas during my labor and delivery, so I was happy to try anything that could get labor going on its own. Following the appointment, I felt crampy and "off" for the rest of the day, and had some bloody show in the afternoon and evening. I tried not to get my hopes up, but felt there was a good chance I was about to go into labor.

Around midnight on October 4, I woke up and felt a few mild contractions. After an hour so, I started timing them and woke Brandon up to let him know that labor had begun. Contractions were around 5 minutes apart for an hour, and we decided to head to the hospital because I was already so dilated that I was worried labor might progress more quickly than I was prepared for. I was anxious to get admitted and have my epidural placed before things got real. As it turned out, I did not need to worry about things going too quickly!

Once we arrived at triage, they checked me and monitored my contractions for 20 minutes or so. I was 4.5cm dilated, but my contractions had slowed to around 6 minutes apart, so my doctor requested that we walk for two hours and get rechecked before she decided whether or not to admit me. Those next two hours were the most difficult part of my labor experience. Contractions remained between 4-5 minutes apart, although they got stronger over the course of those two hours. I was very worried that we'd be sent home, especially since the final few contractions before we went to get rechecked were 5-8 minutes apart. The recheck revealed that I'd progressed to 5.5 cm in those two hours, and the doctor agreed to admit me.

Oddly enough, right after I was admitted and settled into my labor and delivery room, my contractions basically stalled out completely and slowed down to mild contractions every 10-15 minutes. I didn't request my epidural yet because I wasn't in any pain. We hung out in the room for 3-4 hours, and I bounced on a birthing ball, drank juice, listened to music, watched some sitcom reruns on TV, and chatted with my L&D nurse. Brandon even left for a little while to eat breakfast. Eventually, I met with the doctor on call, who was not from my usual practice but who I liked immediately, and we agreed that I'd get my epidural placed and then she'd come back and break my water to get labor moving again.

Hooray for epidurals! I had just as great an experience with this one as I had with the first. The final cervix check before the doctor broke my water revealed that I'd progressed to 7cm, even with the mild, irregular contractions I'd been having. I'd been in labor for about ten and a half hours at this point. Breaking my water definitely got things going again, and after two hours of strong, regular contractions (that I merely felt as slight increases in pressure thanks to my blessed and glorious epidural), dilation was complete and I felt pressure encouraging me to start pushing.

I was extremely nervous and anxious about pushing after my four-hour experience with Lucas, but my nurse assured me that a second baby would not be the same experience. She told me we'd have this baby out in three contractions worth of pushes. Brandon and I both kind of rolled our eyes at that.  But after two contractions of three pushes apiece, she told me I'd have to breathe through the next contraction and wait for the doctor to gown up and get into the room, because after the next contraction, I was going to have my new baby.

The doctor arrived, we all got ready, and sure enough, four pushes later and Lincoln Michael was born after just under twelve hours of labor and twenty minutes of pushing. He got 9/9 on his Apgars and weighed in at 9 lbs 4 oz and 20.25 inches long. We were shocked at how "small" he was, even though he was born at 38 weeks 6 days, but I can't say I was too disappointed given my easy, breezy labor and delivery experience.

Lincoln Michael's name is from my great-grandfather Charles Lincoln, and his middle name is after my dad. We love the name itself and also the symmetry of it, since Lucas Alan is named for Brandon's great-grandfather and dad.

We stayed at the hospital for another 24 hours and were excited to get home as soon as we could. Lincoln has been a dream so far and we're so happy to be a family of four.

Last photo before Lincoln's birth

So happy to meet my Littlest even if he's covered in gook

Our little peanut

Proud new dada

Big Brother gives the baby a kiss

Our Littlest Lincoln

Lucas the Artist

I haven't updated recently because it's all been very much the same (fun) things all summer: park, zoo, gym, pool, splash pad, rinse and repeat. I've been loving my final summer as a mom of one and Lucas has been, frankly, a lot easier to deal with as a two-year-old than he was as a pre-verbal one-year-old. He definitely gets the majority of his time-outs for defiance and refusing to listen/follow directions, but he does very well overall and is a joy to spend time with.

One funny thing he started doing this summer was creating installation art pieces using his truck collection. He'd very carefully line up or position a certain number of cars, then declare "Ta-Da!" once it was complete and step back for Brandon or I to admire it. I started taking photos of some of his "work" to preserve them for posterity's sake, since his pieces are transient in nature and rarely remain on display for more than an hour before being dismantled.

These art pieces may look merely like randomized mess, but I assure you that they were deliberately made and constructed. Just to be clear, my tongue is firmly in cheek here! I hope you enjoy Lucas's early artistic endeavors in the spirit they are presented.

The Artist at work.

Cars and Trucks on Rug #1, a multimedia piece by Lucas T.

Cars and Trucks in Line #1, a multimedia piece by Lucas T.

Cars and Trucks on Rug #2, a multimedia piece by Lucas T.

Cars and Trucks on Tray #1, a multimedia piece by Lucas T.

The Artist at work creating the previous piece

Branching out in materials: Puffballs on Carpet #1 by Lucas T.