I have always been fascinated by personality tests. I love being categorized! Many years of the internet has cured me of my compulsive need to discover which Harry Potter character I am most like, but I still have a lot of interest in the more legitimate ones, like the Myers-Briggs type indicator.
If you don't know what Myers-Briggs is, you can read about it here. But this post probably won't interest you much. But if you know your type, you are probably now dying to tell me what it is the same as I am dying to tell you! Basically, the test classifies you under four binary components: Introvert/Extrovert, Sensing/Intuitive, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perception.
I took an official Myers-Briggs test when I was in undergrad. I have always been extremely strong in Introversion and Judging, but the other two results are more halfway. Being an ambitious, overly confident 19-year-old, I decided to identify myself as an INTJ at the time of the initial test, mainly because its shorthand name is the Mastermind or Scientist and I thought that was extremely cool. INTJs are destined to be high achievers, career-oriented, strategic thinkers -- everything I wanted to believe that I was when I was 19. After all, I was going to go to law school, I was going to become the executive director of a legal non-profit and change the world!
Ten years later, I am a very different person, or else the same person with a bit more self-awareness. My short career in law was mediocre at best, and worst of all, I hated being an attorney and consider my years spent in law school and practicing law as a big error in judgment. That's a post for another day, but recently I retook the Myers-Briggs test online to discover that I'm not an INTJ after all, and I probably never have been. It all makes so much sense now -- I'm an INFJ!
An INFJ is intuitive, creative, caring, and artistic. It's the rarest of all the types. INFJs are very sensitive to conflict and cannot tolerate it well. Sounds like a great type of person to be an attorney, right? INFJs trust their instincts to such a high extent that they are very stubborn and often ignore other people's opinions. (I think Brandon would agree that this is true). They are devoted, caring parents but have high expectations of themselves and others. They have a rich inner life that they are reluctant to share with the people around them.
This is all me to a 'T'! If only I'd chosen INFJ over INTJ a decade ago and saved myself a lot of trouble of trying to squeeze myself into an ambitious, assertive, ill-fitting box. I'm so much happier being a stay at home mom and spending my days with my son, not representing clients in court, making legal arguments and "being mean to people over the phone," as I thought of my old job. As Lucas gets older, Brandon and I are both hoping I will write more and even make a new career out of it.
Do you like being categorized? You can take a Myers-Briggs-esque test here. Then let me know what you are in the comments! I'm totally obsessed with this at the moment and would love to know. Brandon is a ESFJ - The Caregiver, which fits him perfectly too.
Speaking of Brandon, he will hopefully be here in a few days with his first post. He works full-time and does not have the option of putting the job on the floor by the computer with a few toys to distract him so he can blog, as I do. His post will be food-oriented, yay!
Ohhhh....so that is where the intj came from!
ReplyDeleteI took this test 10 years ago and was an ENFP. It seemed reasonable at the time because of my ambition to be a highly energetic, bubbly, knowledgeable, easy going person. Yet when I read that definition now it does not seem to fit me at all.
ReplyDeleteSo I took the test again now and had a really tough time answering some questions. They felt either too abstract, or my answer would just vary depending on how I felt that day or on the circumstances. I have a very hard time with generalization (I wish there had been a question for that :)
The last few weeks, perhaps months, perhaps years, I have definitely felt the need to be more alone and less in large groups. Now being in a completely new environment I am not at all craving group outings or parties. I would have craved that 10 years ago. I would rather read a book or have a quiet cuppa with a friend, chatting. Definitely a change. So my answers to those questions are completely ambivalent and depend on the people and how I'm feeling that day.
So anyways - I turned out being INTJ today - but only slightly in each category. It's odd because I've never really thought of myself as an introvert, and yet I've had cause to re-think this lately. I am comfortable around strangers and don't mind meeting new people, and have learned to use fairly decent people skills to either make someone feel welcome or to make friends (but I only use them when I feel like it :) But there has been a shift in how I perceive myself the last few years, and a shift in what I want and need.
I tend to have energy when spending time around people I like, doing something exciting (like watching football with friends when I've been cooped up at work for 3 days), and I'm pretty sure people assume I'm far out on the extrovert spectrum, which I'm pretty sure I'm actually not. I don't want to hang out with people I don't know at a party, I hate making chit-chat with strangers, and I would rather curl up with a book than go somewhere where I'm not sure I'll be with someone I like.
I wonder what brought on the change. I used to crave action and large groups hanging out and had the patience for it. I used to WANT to meet strangers and have a ton of acquaintances. Not anymore. I'm reading this book called Quiet - and I think I'm understanding things a little bit better about why perhaps we TRY to be more extroverted than we really are (societal ideal of the 20th century, shift of emphasis from character to personality, pressure to be "less shy", "more talkative", etc). Anyways. The question of my extroversion vs introversion is still up in the air for me - although it might appear crystal clear to others because I've been so good and fooling people my whole adult life :) To be honest I don't really like people that much - only the ones I like !!
For the rest, I can identify with a lot of the INTJ characteristics - in regards to practicality (does it work ?), being confident in things that I feel I know (definitely and probably overly), needing things and people to make sense and be smart, and especially in relationships (I would say not only romantic): "instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness." Yes, a thousand times yes.
xx ali
ps - love your blog, keep it up :)
Ali, I find it so indicative of our age at the time of the initial test that we both chose answers based on who we wanted to be as opposed to who we were. Maybe now that we are twenty-ten (or rapidly approaching it), we're more content to be honest with ourselves. I still have days where I feel like I should be doing something "more" with my life, but then, being a perfectionist is a trait of INFJs. ;-)
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, our INFJ-not-mixing-with-law stories are somewhat similar, except I knew right away that I wasn't cut out for legal work. Someone I worked with who used to administer the Myers-Briggs test as part of her job in HR mentioned to me that I should take the test, because I was the most obvious INFJ she'd ever met. I did, confirmed my type, and forced myself to go to law school anyway. I stuck it out for awhile to please my family (law school is super-impressive, after all), but mostly because I was afraid that if I didn't "hack it" at law, I'd never be successful anywhere else in life. When I quit I decided that that view was simply not going to be my reality. Even though I'm definitely on a roundabout road, and have no actual career to speak of, I'm glad I left when I did. I really sympathize with a desire to to stuff yourself into a box that you may not actually fit in. It's so much easier to be who you're not than to be who you really are. On a positive note, I think that being a parent is an experience that is tailor-made for INFJs - my kid in particular responds really well to the compassionate counseling, intuitive leaps, intense loyalty, and rich inner worlds which are the hallmark of our creed. I personally think INFJs make the best stay at home moms. Myers-Briggs has often served as a guide for me in life and I'm glad you enjoy it as well!
ReplyDeleteEllery, it's been both difficult and freeing to realize that not being assertive and being reluctant to hurt feelings or make other people uncomfortable isn't something broken about me that needs fixing. It's a perfectly valid personality trait! And not one particulary conducive to a law career.
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